![]() It took me sixteen years to finally witness this. I never thought I’d ever hear Frollo saying the word “cleavage”, yet here we are. This means that your journey is basically narrated by a reluctant Judge Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, being disgusted at the fact that he has to talk about the Bard’s insatiable quest for “coin and cleavage”. The narrator was voiced by the late Tony Jay. The dialogue exchanges between the Bard and the narrator are, in my opinion, the best thing about The Bard’s Tale. The Bard isn’t a hero, he’s just a sleazebag seeking for fame, fortune, and fornication. Bards Tale is a critically acclaimed party-based roleplaying game based loosely on the Dungeons & Dragons rule set, with first-person navigation and. Add in an extra layer of sarcasm that was clearly influenced by the at-the-time revolutionary concept of Shrek, and you get the perfect parody of medieval stories and RPG tropes. Even to the point where it features constant fourth-wall breaks between the protagonist and the narrator, as well as the fact that the titular, Bard, is voiced by none other than Cary Elwes himself. This is basically the closest to a Princess Bride game that has ever been developed. This game features the widest assortment of gentle characters. The real selling point in The Bard’s Tale is its sense of humor. However, it’s hindered by a confusing camera system. ![]() That being said, it is functional and features some neat elements such as using a lute to summon allies. What really makes the game so endearing, even for today’s standards, isn’t its Baldur’s Gate Dark Alliance-inspired, gameplay. I didn’t even dare to play these cutscenes on a larger screen. Textures look mostly the same, lighting effects look mostly the same, and any cinematic cutscene included in here hasn’t been touched at all, looking gross on the Switch’s screen. Just like the recent port of Star Wars Episode I: Racer for the Switch, you’re getting an improved resolution, a slightly more stable framerate, and that’s basically it. In terms of remasters, it doesn’t even perform that much better than the previously released PS Vita version. ![]() I say “pseudo-remaster” because The Bard’s Tale ARPG: Remastered and Resnarkled (yes, that’s the game’s name) doesn’t exactly look much better than its original release.
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